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Bad rabbit
Question: What is the most popular sex toy for women?
Answer: [So...did you venture a guess yet?]
My answer would be: The Rabbit.
It's low on price and high on power. The toy gets the job done, whether a girl is interested in finding her G-Spot or achieving a clitoral orgasm with a vibrator inside of her. If you go to any adult toy website, there's inevitably a variation of The Rabbit hopping around on the page of Bestselling Products.
But, what if your favorite little -- or not so little, as the case may be -- bunny wasn't healthy for you?
I hadn't thought about the health risks of sex toys until a lunch with Dr. Ruthie this week.
"Who's Dr. Ruthie?" you might be wondering.
Well, she's a sex educator and coach. (As an aside, she and I are planning to host workshops together in the coming months. If you're in the DC area, stay tuned for more details on my blog and Twitter. And, fear not, you out-of-towners, we've also talked about holding virtual workshops via U-Stream.)
Anyway, when you get one sex coach and one sex blogger in the room, the subject naturally turns to...sex! We started discussing sex toys and product reviews, and Dr. Ruthie mentioned that a lot of jelly-like vibrators on the market contain phthalates.
"What's a phthalate?" you might be asking like I was.
It's an oil-based chemical that is used to soften plastic. According to a Greenpeace-TNO study, phthalates, also known as PVC, have been linked to liver and kidney damage, testicular problems in boys, and cervical cancer, infertility and birth defects in women. The study found that even minimal exposure to phthalates can be harmful and that certain sex toys contain an inordinate amount of this chemical inside of them.
What's in your toy arsenal? A Rabbit? A jelly-soft vibrator? A small cute plastic Dolphin or Snail that stimulates your clitoris? Do you know whether any of your toys contain phthalates?
I have to be honest with you that I don't. There are a lot of products in my toy drawer, and quite a few of them are made with a jelly-like rubber material because that feels better. But, I've now learned that soft to the touch might not equal good for my body! The study estimates that 60% of the ingredients in The Rabbit are toxic and linked to birth defects and cancer. 60%!
Will I use a toy from hereon forward without knowing if it is phthalate-free? HELL NO!!! It's simply not worth the risk to me, and I hope that you feel the same about your own body and health.
"Why are these items even on the store?"
Well, sex toys are viewed as novelty items, and thus, they aren't subject to government regulations. Government agencies have banned the use of phthalates in children's toys, but there's no body with jurisdictions over the use of the same toxic chemicals in sex toys.
The fact that the sex toy industry isn't regulated frustrates me on several levels. It's 2010, and yet, we still live in a Puritanical society. The government doesn't want to involve itself in sex toys, and some states, like Alabama, ban the sale of sex toys completely. The lack of regulations of the sex toy industry:
1. Perpetuates the misperception that the use of sex toys is unhealthy;
2. Ignores the reality that people are purchasing and using adult toys;
3. Ensures that toys are sold without safety issues in mind. From a health perspective, it should be the norm, and not the exception, that sex toys are made without carcinogens or other harmful ingredients; and
4. Prevents distributors and stores from properly educating consumers about products upon request without fear of criminal penalties or losing their business licenses.
It crossed my mind that the sex toy industry caters to gay males and females. If heterosexual men were the largest consumers of adult toys, would regulators have responded differently to the Greenpeace-TNO study? Why are women's health issues consistently marginalized by the government and medical professionals? Why are gay men's sexual practices viewed as deviant? If straight men were using The Rabbit, do any of us really think that 60% of the ingredients used to make that toy would be toxic?
Why haven't we, as consumers, been better informed about the possibility that products that we put inside of us might be harmful? I'm mad, and I hope that you are, too. As an avid user and advocate of sex toys, I'm shocked that the first that I heard of this was a casual comment with a new friend over lunch. Sexual exploration is healthy and normal, but we shouldn't have to do it with fear that fun with a toy today could lead to serious health risks down the road.
I don't know that a few readers can make a difference in overturning centuries of American views on sex and sexuality. (But, if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.)
For now, invest in a good-quality sex toy that is free of phthalates/PVC! Read the packaging, and take the time to Google, e-mail a vendor, or ask a salesperson if you are unsure about a given product. The President of Tantus Silicone wrote a great post about this issue. She cautions that if you open a sex toy, and there's a noxious odor, that's the smell of phthalate. No one likes to waste money, but is it better to throw out a product without using it than risk your health? I sure think so.
Better sex toys tend to cost more, but you can do your homework. Tomorrow, I'm reviewing a product for The Adult Toy Shoppe that is similar to The Rabbit, costs around $30 and doesn't contain any phthalates. (It also didn't smell when I took it out of the box.) The company that designs The Rabbit has also come out with a phthalate-free version. If you are willing to invest in a top of the line sex toy, check out Lelo or Fun Factory products since they are the crème de la crème of the industry and designed with your both your pleasure and your health in mind.
I've ended a post in the past, advising you to "be safe and have fun." Today, I'll just say:
Be Safe.
Whether I know you or I've never met you, I care. Hope you'll spread the word along with me. xoxo
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