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Bad rabbit

April 17, 2010

Question: What is the most popular sex toy for women?

Answer: [So...did you venture a guess yet?]

My answer would be: The Rabbit.

It's low on price and high on power. The toy gets the job done, whether a girl is interested in finding her G-Spot or achieving a clitoral orgasm with a vibrator inside of her. If you go to any adult toy website, there's inevitably a variation of The Rabbit hopping around on the page of Bestselling Products.

But, what if your favorite little -- or not so little, as the case may be -- bunny wasn't healthy for you?

I hadn't thought about the health risks of sex toys until a lunch with Dr. Ruthie this week.

"Who's Dr. Ruthie?" you might be wondering.

Well, she's a sex educator and coach. (As an aside, she and I are planning to host workshops together in the coming months. If you're in the DC area, stay tuned for more details on my blog and Twitter. And, fear not, you out-of-towners, we've also talked about holding virtual workshops via U-Stream.)

Anyway, when you get one sex coach and one sex blogger in the room, the subject naturally turns to...sex! We started discussing sex toys and product reviews, and Dr. Ruthie mentioned that a lot of jelly-like vibrators on the market contain phthalates.

"What's a phthalate?" you might be asking like I was.

It's an oil-based chemical that is used to soften plastic. According to a Greenpeace-TNO study, phthalates, also known as PVC, have been linked to liver and kidney damage, testicular problems in boys, and cervical cancer, infertility and birth defects in women. The study found that even minimal exposure to phthalates can be harmful and that certain sex toys contain an inordinate amount of this chemical inside of them.

What's in your toy arsenal? A Rabbit? A jelly-soft vibrator? A small cute plastic Dolphin or Snail that stimulates your clitoris? Do you know whether any of your toys contain phthalates?

I have to be honest with you that I don't. There are a lot of products in my toy drawer, and quite a few of them are made with a jelly-like rubber material because that feels better. But, I've now learned that soft to the touch might not equal good for my body! The study estimates that 60% of the ingredients in The Rabbit are toxic and linked to birth defects and cancer. 60%!

Will I use a toy from hereon forward without knowing if it is phthalate-free? HELL NO!!! It's simply not worth the risk to me, and I hope that you feel the same about your own body and health.

"Why are these items even on the store?"

Well, sex toys are viewed as novelty items, and thus, they aren't subject to government regulations. Government agencies have banned the use of phthalates in children's toys, but there's no body with jurisdictions over the use of the same toxic chemicals in sex toys.

The fact that the sex toy industry isn't regulated frustrates me on several levels. It's 2010, and yet, we still live in a Puritanical society. The government doesn't want to involve itself in sex toys, and some states, like Alabama, ban the sale of sex toys completely. The lack of regulations of the sex toy industry:

1. Perpetuates the misperception that the use of sex toys is unhealthy;
2. Ignores the reality that people are purchasing and using adult toys;
3. Ensures that toys are sold without safety issues in mind. From a health perspective, it should be the norm, and not the exception, that sex toys are made without carcinogens or other harmful ingredients; and
4. Prevents distributors and stores from properly educating consumers about products upon request without fear of criminal penalties or losing their business licenses.

It crossed my mind that the sex toy industry caters to gay males and females. If heterosexual men were the largest consumers of adult toys, would regulators have responded differently to the Greenpeace-TNO study? Why are women's health issues consistently marginalized by the government and medical professionals? Why are gay men's sexual practices viewed as deviant? If straight men were using The Rabbit, do any of us really think that 60% of the ingredients used to make that toy would be toxic?

Why haven't we, as consumers, been better informed about the possibility that products that we put inside of us might be harmful? I'm mad, and I hope that you are, too. As an avid user and advocate of sex toys, I'm shocked that the first that I heard of this was a casual comment with a new friend over lunch. Sexual exploration is healthy and normal, but we shouldn't have to do it with fear that fun with a toy today could lead to serious health risks down the road.

I don't know that a few readers can make a difference in overturning centuries of American views on sex and sexuality. (But, if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.)

For now, invest in a good-quality sex toy that is free of phthalates/PVC! Read the packaging, and take the time to Google, e-mail a vendor, or ask a salesperson if you are unsure about a given product. The President of Tantus Silicone wrote a great post about this issue. She cautions that if you open a sex toy, and there's a noxious odor, that's the smell of phthalate. No one likes to waste money, but is it better to throw out a product without using it than risk your health? I sure think so.

Better sex toys tend to cost more, but you can do your homework. Tomorrow, I'm reviewing a product for The Adult Toy Shoppe that is similar to The Rabbit, costs around $30 and doesn't contain any phthalates. (It also didn't smell when I took it out of the box.) The company that designs The Rabbit has also come out with a phthalate-free version. If you are willing to invest in a top of the line sex toy, check out Lelo or Fun Factory products since they are the crème de la crème of the industry and designed with your both your pleasure and your health in mind.

I've ended a post in the past, advising you to "be safe and have fun." Today, I'll just say:

Be Safe.

Whether I know you or I've never met you, I care. Hope you'll spread the word along with me. xoxo


Comments (25)

wfokaxn
Posted by payday loans on 05/16/12
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Good eye, Karen! I caught the last half of the segment. Very interesting! (I also hoped that Leslie Stahl would clarify the pronunciation of the word, "phthalates," for me, but she said it at least 5 different ways.) I'm going to a conference next week and one of the workshops is on the use of toxic chemicals in lubes and toys. I'll definitely report back :).
Posted by citygirlblogs on 05/25/10
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You should catch the 60 minutes show today about phthalates in everyday items airing today (it's on now in my time zone).
Posted by Karen on 05/23/10
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Ooh - thanks for your comment! I hadn't even thought about phthalates in bath products. It disturbs me that PVC use is so prevalent. PS Love to hear that St Ives uses good ingredients since the company's products are inexpensive.
Posted by citygirlblogs on 05/16/10
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I've been following your blog for a few months, and I found this post really interesting since I've had several sex toys over the years. I filed the information away in the back of my head until yesterday when I was in the shower, absently reading the label of my near-empty bottle of body wash. I noticed the very last line on the front: "Free of parabens and phthalates." That caught my attention, and I quickly skimmed the ingredients of the other products in my shower. Parabens yes, phthalates no. But this incident has led me to do some more research on all the various products that can contain phthalates, and the list is LONG. Needless to say, I will now be much more conscious of the products that I buy, especially the ones that I use on my body on a daily basis. So I just wanted to thank you for writing this post and bringing these chemicals to my attention, and I hope my revelation will benefit you and bring awareness that phthalates are in many products that you might use.

Oh, and the good, cheap, natural body wash that I was using is St. Ives Oatmeal and Shea Butter. I think I will go out of my way to use more of their products in the future.
Posted by Caitlin on 05/16/10
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I always love your detailed and honest comments, Julia! I haven't tried glass and wood for the same reasons you enumerated. I wasn't a fan of Fun Factory's Delight, but I'm looking forward to trying one of Lelo's toys. I'll let you know how pleasing the texture is. I read how the eco-green community is getting involved in warning people about the use of toxic chemicals in sex toys. I hope that this will inspire more toy companies to develop toys that are safer from a health and environmental perspective. xoxo
Posted by citygirlblogs on 05/09/10
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This is one of several reasons I've never owned and rarely used sex toys. I don't like the idea of putting anything remotely synthetic in proximity to absorbent mucous membranes, let alone the ones in my vagina!

I'm also one of those strange people who doesn't find vibration arousing/stimulating/pleasing. It's simply not a sensation I enjoy. But when I was younger, I certainly experimented with inserting a wide variety of objects in my vagina, bc penetration excited me the most out of all sexual acts, even as a young virgin.

Now, I'm also not someone who masturbates often, but if there were non-synthetic dildos with a pleasing texture and density, i would consider getting one. Glass is too hard and wood can't be easily cleaned and is also too hard...I really want like, a dildo with a shaft made of a wooden core, surrounded by the firmest type of natural latex, and then with a medium firmness, thick mushroomy shaped natural latex head that has no wooden core. A completely natural, synthetic-free item like that I would buy and enjoy, but plastic and silicon and all the various other typical materials are such a turn off to me and I generally detest and avoid those types of materials in all other areas of my life, too.

Anyway...I love fairly vanilla sex and it never bores me, so I guess I'm fine! I mix it up a little these days, but I've experienced periods in several relationships in my life where I literally had sex the exact same way every day for months on end, and neither of us minded.
Posted by fairnymph on 05/08/10
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My friend asked if you work for Hitachi Magic Wand ;). I know about the attachments, but for me and my friends who can cum from traditional sex without clitoral stimulation, the G-Spot wand attachment desensitizes us too much. Battery-operated G-Spot toys don't. But, hey, to each her own!
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/21/10
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The magic wand has attachments now... ;)

http://www.amazon.com/Hitachi-Magic-Wand-Super-Deluxe/dp/B001M5121I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1271905484&sr=8-1

Check-and-mate.
Posted by Streyeder on 04/21/10
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I agree. There should be some sort of regulation. Like you say, they regulate kids toys, so they should regulate "adults' toys" too. For we are all just children at heart really, aren't we? :-)

- El Rojo
Posted by Alex The Red Parez aka El Rojo on 04/20/10
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Wow. I can't believe it. I'm just shocked. And I think, in my personal opinion, if men did use sex toys more often, the government would be more open to the idea of banning toys that are a risk to your health.

Although we have our rights as women, the government is VERY sexist. It's unfair that they would treat us differently because we have a vagina. As I said before, if men did use toys, The Rabbit, and other unhealthy products would be banned. It's a shame that we have a sexist government =(.
Posted by Stephanie on 04/18/10
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I absolutely LOVE this phthalate-free purple pleaser: http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-g-spot/orchid-g!

1. No buttons to accidentally hit.
2. Bubble Bath friendly
3. And this is my fave thing . . . it's rigid make and L shape make it perfect for something I had never done before - solo fun . . . ON TOP! The rhythm of which is so much fun to me & you just don't get on your back. Body pillow to straddle + hand high up on the wall + "Barney" (bulb on clit, shaft in hand) = one of the best C-gasms I've ever had alone.
Posted by Firefly Garden Club on 04/18/10
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Happy that you did some research and wrote your own post about this, Kandace! xoxo
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/18/10
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Thanks for reading, Anastasia! Wish there wasn't the need to write about toxic chemicals in sex toys, though. xoxo
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/18/10
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Thanks Streyeder!

I appreciate the distinction between what is and isn't legal re: sex toys in Alabama. I have a problem with the novelty item or agricultural exception, though, since those state regulations impede any sex education or coaching around the purchase and use of toys.

I love massage toys, but as a female, it's also great to have a toy that can work the G-Spot.
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/18/10
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Two quick notes:

1.) Technically sex toys in Alabama are legal...if used mainly for non-human sexual stimulation. (Actually, the loophole for animals is quite critical to the agriculture business.)

2.) This is just one more reason to buy a Hitachi Magic Wand. Cheaper than most vibes and lasts 10 years or so. Oh, and it's a helluva actual massager to boot!
Posted by Streyeder on 04/18/10
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Wow, that's so helpful. I had no idea. thanks!

xo anastasia b
Posted by Anastasia B. on 04/18/10
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So this post inspired a lot of questions and therefore several google searches for me. Then it led to my own post on the matter. If you'd like to read it you can go take a look and let me know what you think.

http://oneredwall.wordpress.com/2010/04/18/who-keeps-my-vibrator-safe/
Posted by Kandace on 04/18/10
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[...] that nice soft feel.You should definitely goto City Girl’s blogabout phthalatesand read what she had to sayabout [...]
Posted by who keeps my vibrator safe? &laq on 04/18/10
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Wish there wasn't a need to write this post, but happy to pass on the info.
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/17/10
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I never considered it either. I hope you're right and that the word does get out. It still infuriates me that the sex toy industry is unregulated. All toys with those toxic chemicals inside them should be off the market -- regardless of whether the toy is designed for adults or children.
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/17/10
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"The dangerous hare" made me smile -- very creative! And, here's to huge back massagers with dual purposes :).
Posted by citygirlblogs on 04/17/10
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Thank you for this post. I will re-evaluate what's in my treasure chest. I have a glass dildo and a huge back massager. A suitable replacement for that dangerous hare!
Posted by Terrina Weatherspoon on 04/17/10
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I never even considered it. Then when I do it's rather obvious that there could be something. Afterall, why would sex toys be the one thing never to be made of something dangerous?

They monitor kids toys why not adult toys? Just because we are adults does not mean we know what the dangerous ingredients are.

i'm sure there is something to be done, I just don't have a clue what. Since you're rigt, so many people would see it as sanctioning something 'bad' called sex. Maybe someone will read this with an idea of some steps to take. It has to start somewhere, why not on the internet?
Posted by Kandace on 04/17/10
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Wow, had no idea... Will be reading labels, definitely. Thanks for the information!
Posted by Steffanie on 04/17/10
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