Back Story
Why am I blogging?
Why am I a City Girl?
Stats (aka What do I look like?)
Who am I?
Why did I blog anonymously for two years, and why did I "come out?"
Advocacy, Fundraising, Interviews and Panels
Why am I blogging?
Readers who have never met me wonder if my blog is comprised of stuff that really happened or is fictional chick-lit. All of the stories and the guys in them are real! I like to think of myself as creative, but I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. (And, with guys like Purple Thong Boy and Brooklyn Boy, I wouldn't want to - lol.)
Over the years, friends have encouraged me to write about my dating adventures and blogging seemed like a good forum for that. People have told me that my life is like something out of Sex and the City. I don't know if that's true or not. I just follow my instincts, my heart and once in a while, my head, and these stories describe what ensues.
Why am I a City Girl?
I've spent most of my life in cities in the Northeast (Boston, New York and Washington). I can find my way around American and European cities easily, but always seem to get lost when I head out into the suburbs. That might have something to do with the fact that I didn't learn how to drive until I was in my mid-20s ;-).
In other typical City Girl fashion, I have a kitchen in my place, but couldn't tell you the last time I cooked a meal. I'm all about restaurants and delivery. I know the difference between a co-op and a condo, and much prefer living in an apartment than a house. I go to my family's place in Manhattan when I want to chill since for me, NYC is relaxing. I can walk several miles of city blocks in a day, but have never gone for a hike. The only time I went camping, I was 100 feet away from a house with indoor plumbing and had an air mattress inside of the tent.
My Stats (aka What do I look like?)
I'm 37, 5'10", and very fair-skinned. My ancestry is Irish, German and Hungarian. My eyes are hazel, and they turn green when I cry and blue when I wear certain colors.
February 2010
Photo Credit: Patrick Onofre Photography
May 2010
Photo Credit: Kristina Hopper Photography
November 2010
Photo Credit: Moshe Zusman Photography
Who am I?
I'm a total girly-girl, but also a huge sports fan. My faith is very important to me, yet I probably talk about sex more than anyone you know. I've been fortunate enough to make smart choices for myself professionally, but I tend to make poor decisions when it comes to relationships.
If you have watched Sex and the City, I am a blend of the characters. I love sex and value my independence as much as Samantha. I'm an attorney like Miranda, and my career is one reason why I blogged anonymously for two years. Like Charlotte, I believe in fairy tales, true love and soul mates, and have traditional views about marriage. And, like Carrie, I spend much of my budget on shoes (although I'm more of a Tory Burch fan than a Manolo girl), and always seem to fall for the wrong guy.
What do I have in common with all of the characters? I LOVE being in my mid-30s, spending time with my girlfriends, and living in the city. Maybe I'll find Prince Charming someday. Maybe I won't. But, these things I know for sure: I'll have fun in the process, and this City Girl isn't moving to the 'burbs for anyone or anything.
Why did I blog anonymously for two years, and why did I "come out?"
Once upon a time, there was a Little City Girl. Her parents raised her with love, support and opportunities. They let her know that she could be anything that she wanted to be when she was older.
At 14, Little City Girl told her father that she wanted to go to Wellesley College and become a lawyer.
“Why do you want to be a lawyer?” he inquired.
“Because I like to write, debate and help people,” Little City Girl replied.
When she went to Wellesley several years later, the professors also impressed upon her and her classmates that they could be and do anything.
A college internship brought City Girl to Washington, DC, in 1993, and she fell in love with the nation’s capital. After her internship ended, she stayed in DC and got a job as a legal assistant. She went on to law school, and when she finally started to work as an attorney, she was thankful that an instinct that she had 12 years prior was the right one.
In her first job, she noticed that wearing a short skirt or a fitted sweater to work prompted inappropriate comments from her bosses. With each subsequent position, she sported more pants suits and felt more comfortable informing male colleagues that their behavior was unacceptable.
She also learned that although her dating stories were entertaining, she had to be selective about what she shared with co-workers. One partner only knew that she was dating an NFL player – without any specifics – and thought it funny to walk into a meeting after a football game, saying:
Your boyfriend can’t handle his balls.
In theory, she could do anything professionally that she wanted. But, unfortunately, that didn't mean that her age, gender, appearance or sexuality wouldn't be topics of conversation or affect other people's perceptions of her around the office.
When City Girl left firm life for a nonprofit, she began doing some legal policy work. She always relied on facts and the law, rather than emotions, when speaking about a polarizing issue, but that didn’t stop a few very conservative people from sending her office hate mail. Her former boss approached her about doing policy work exclusively. She was flattered, but she worried that she would miss working directly with the clients if she chose that path.
In 2008, she decided to take a sabbatical from the law to focus on health issues and finish her master’s program. As she prepared to write her thesis, she thought it would be fun to start blogging about her dating adventures. She chose to blog anonymously so that if she reentered the policy arena, her sexuality wouldn’t be used against her. (If she had received several pieces of hate mail and comments about her appearance or significant others without provocation, she knew that her sex life and dating mishaps would become ammunition for those who disagreed with her politics.)
As her blog readership grew, she began attending events as City Girl. Quite a few people in DC knew both her real name and blog link, but they kindly respected her privacy. Local online publications were also understanding, taking her picture with her name or quoting her as City Girl without using her name or face. She managed with the help of others to remain anonymous from the legal policy world.
In 2010, City Girl wondered if it was worth taking another year away from the law to see where her blog could go and start teaching sexual health workshops. She joined the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and attended their annual conference. She also found a platform, as she wrote about the use of toxic ingredients in sex toys and the need for self-regulation. Lotus Blooms and Fascinations at Fun Love approached her about writing for their sites and reviewing body-friendly products for them. She began to ponder how she could advocate for safe sex toys on a larger scale.
When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in June of 2010, she decided to use her experience to try to raise awareness and help others. Her friends and doctors knew that she was willing to talk about what she was going through, and opportunities to do just that followed. The more that she talked about her experience and let others in, the more she wanted to continue to do so.
She finished chemotherapy and realized that she is stronger than she thought that she was. She also realized that there’s much more for her to do as an advocate and that it's time to come out from behind her laptop. If she can help one more person through her blog, her photographs or her interviews, it’s worth it. She accepts that she may never work again in the legal policy arena, although she wishes that there wasn’t a double standard with respect to female sexuality in the workplace.
Once upon a time, there was a City Girl with long, red hair named Stef.
She's bald now, but she still feels feminine and sexy.
Although she's not exactly sure what will happen next, she trusts that she will live happily ever after.
Advocacy, Fundraising, Interviews and Panels
Comprehensive list available on LinkedIn. CV available upon request to citygirlblogs (at) gmail.com.
Recent and upcoming speaking engagements include:
"Sexuality and Social Media." Sponsored by Momentum: Making Waves in Sexuality, Feminism and Relationships, Arlington, VA.
"The Hyper Network: Networking in the Age of Social Media." Sponsored by the AU PRSSA and AU Social Media Club, American University, Washington, DC.
“Sexuality for Survivors.” Sponsored by Playground: A Multi-Faceted Look at Sexuality and Relationships, Toronto, Canada.
“Triple Threat of DC – Sex, Scandal and Social Media.” Sponsored by the Humanities Council of DC, Washington, DC.
“Where Do You Draw Your Line? Defining TMI in Social Networks.” Sponsored by the Social Learning Summit, American University, Washington, DC.
“The Pros and Cons of Anonymous Blogging.” Sponsored by Momentum: Making Waves in Sexuality, Feminism and Relationships, Silver Spring, MD.
Profiles and Interviews:
Profile, Female Physiology Chapter, Sexuality Now: Embracing Diversity, Fourth Edition, Janell L. Carroll, Ph.D., Wadsworth Publishers, Pacific Grove, CA, Expected January 2012.
Testimonial, Health Information Technology Stories for Patients & Families, HealthIT.gov, http://www.healthit.gov/, October 2011.
“Sex during Cancer,” The Tommy Show on 94.7 Fresh FM, Aired October 19, 2011.
Profile, “Breast Cancer Survivor Stories,” Women’s Health, http://www.womenshealthmag.com/, October 2011.
“Sex in the Cloud: An Interview with Sex Blogger & Professor, Stef Woods,” 1x57, http://www.1x57.com/, October 2011.
“How to Talk to Your Doctor about Sex,” In the Den with Dr. Jenn, http://www.drjennsden.com/, August 2011.
“Stef Woods/Komen for the Cure,” The District Dish, http://www.thedistrictdish.com/, June 2011.
“Prone Radiation,” Sibley On Health, Sibley Memorial Hospital, Washington, DC, Spring 2011, 4.
“Fighting Cancer with Grace and Style,” Let’s Talk Live, Channel 8/TBD Network, Washington, DC, Aired February 7, 2011.
“Beating Breast Cancer,” Let’s Talk Live, Channel 8/TBD Network, Washington, DC, Aired October 11, 2010.
Advocacy and Charity:
2011: Raised funds for the Prevent Cancer Foundation, the Capital Breast Care Center and Susan G. Komen.
October 2011: Host Committee and Model, Pink Jams! Pink Rocks the Runway.
September 2011: Host Committee, St. Jude Fashion Event.
September 2011: Social Media Committee, WEAVE 15th Anniversary Gala.
April 9, 2011: Fundraising Model for the Fashion For Paws Runway Show to benefit the Washington Humane Society.
March 10, 2011: Model and Volunteer, Critters for the Cure Fashion Show Gala.
November 2010: Photo shoot in the Chemotherapy Room with Moshe Zusman.
April 2010: Fundraising Model for the Fashion For Paws Runway Show to benefit the Washington Humane Society.
I am not a licensed health care professional, and my advice posts are for entertainment purposes only. I am a Supporting Member of The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors & Therapists (AASECT) and completed the Sexual Attitude Readjustment class in June 2010.
As detailed in the Copyright link, please give credit where credit is due. For non-commercial purposes, provide a link to my blog. For commercial purposes, please contact me. Thanks!
